I’m good at what I do…

…because I’m a perfectionist.  I’m not sure what it is, but I take pride in my work and I do the best I possibly can and when someone points out something wrong or offers a critique, I move quickly to correct it.  I strive to always to the best I can, no matter what it is…

…except when I am depressed.

Thankfully, I’m not feeling that today. I’m simply doing my job and it’s been keeping me incredibly busy, so I have not had the chance to sit and think about much at all – except work. But today, when I had a quick few minutes, I was perusing Facebook and noticed the picture I posted in this blog and it hit me that I can, rightfully, say that I have lived all of these traits listed.

At one time, I never thought I was the kind of person that had any mental health issues, but the older I get and the more time I have to think about my life and the things I have gone through, I can easily see the sings of the issues I deal with.  And this meme is related to “Hidden Depression”, and I am more open about it now (Well, open here…in this relative safe place).

I know my audience on this current blog is small and most all of you have seen me at my worst and best in the other blogs I kept, but I am well aware that this is an issue that is still an intricate part of who I am.  I still recognize it, I still know when it’s coming and I still try and fight it. I am thankful that I have this outlet, and although I have had therapists that have been phenomenal, I find a lot of solace on here.

But, tonight, as my mind begins to escape from work and think about things and my life, I also know that it is during these times that my mind is the most vulnerable. It is these times, left to contemplate my own reality that my mind traverses different things.  Today was good, however, so I am confident that I will stay in this moment for now…

And if I don’t, I know I can always come back here and let it all out…

depression

2 thoughts on “I’m good at what I do…

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