Humor? Come out, come out wherever you are…
Today, I had the urge to sit down and write something comical. I used to think of myself as a funny person and always felt like my sense of humor was something that attracted people to me. But as I sit down today, I can’t think of one thing to make into a humorous rendition of some actual experience in my life. And then I remembered I’m a husband and father and as one of my kids have routinely told me, “You’re not funny, dad.”
But I always used humor for a lot of different things – breaking the ice, dealing with uncertainty, making fun of any authority in my life, dealing with stress, etc. Oh, and I used to tease anyone and everyone, because it was how I showed affection (Oddly enough, all of my brothers and sisters hate me now and I have no friends…I might need to rethink that…). I loved laughter and feeling good and humor always seems to do that. Take a look at Lennon’s Blog; she posts hilarious stuff, like today (and that cat has me feeling inadequate). The point I’m trying to make is that I was a funny person at one time.
But it’s gone…I lost it and I don’t know where it went.
I thought about creating a fake Twitter account and go back to trolling like I used to do as Wang Feltersnatch (oh, the fun I had back in the chat room days). I’ve considered being a satirical writer, because I used to have a wicked sense of with and sarcasm. But I just can’t find the thoughts and words I used to have. I think I began to take life too seriously.
Taking life too seriously? Okay…that’s a fucking understatement, if I ever heard of one. The truth of the matter, is I have allowed all of the emotional consequences of my life make me feel squashed and I feel like I’ve allowed others to hide who I am. Granted, when you refuse to be yourself, it’s easy to do. But sometimes I look at life and think I have simply quit caring.
Funny people care. Even if they hide their own pain, they still care. They want people to feel good and I think that’s what might have happened to me. I quit caring about wanting to be happy. I let everything bottle me down. But I want my sense of humor back. I want my ability to take life less seriously, so I am fun to be around again. I feel so many damned things…
And…just like that I realized I’m starting to wallow instead of be funny…
And with that, I’ll end with a joke I once heard:
A photographer was touring the rural areas of the country and wanted to capture images of people from ranches, farms, rural areas – especially those areas that might be struggling socio-economically. Well, one day he came across a small farm ran by a family. The photographer noticed the farmer had two daughters, that have obviously not moved on from home and still helped on the family farm. After gaining permission to take some pictures of the farm and surrounding the land and asked the daughters of he could take their pictures.
As he set up his equipment, the two young women were talking among themselves and one asked her sister, “W’at he gonna do..?”
The older sister responded, “He gonna focus!”