Keeping in mind, I’m writing this well under the influence of a few beers from my favorite watering hole – Old Chicago – I know something in my life needs to change. The problem, truly, is that there is not just one thing that needs to change. No, there are many, many things I do not like about myself nor my life. I have been torn for many months – no, actually, many years on what to change to make myself feel better in a way that is healthy. And by health, I’m referring to both physical and mental health.
I have to say, before I go much further, that I took another one of those online screenings for depression and it comes up that I am severely depressed and that I should consider calling someone because I indicate there is a chance of crisis. But I call bullshit…I’ll fucking figure it out. Fuckers!
My brain is sporadic this evening, so please excuse my lack of coherent thought…
I need to change some things. I’m sick of shit. Here are the things I’m sick of…
- Being a fat ass, fat piece of shit. Seriously, I used to be fucking sexy as fuck and now I’m an old, fat, gross piece of crap.
- Being unsuccessful in my career.
- Being fucking broke
- Shitty fucking attitude
- Horrible spirituality
- REaLLY, I can’t fucking think of anything other than being eternally unsatisfied with my piece of shit life.
So, I could go on, but I can boil all of this down to a couple of things:
I’m a fat ass, and I hate being broke.
I just don’t know how to fucking change any of it.
But another beer really sounds fucking good right now…