The Concept of Change…

Keeping in mind, I’m writing this well under the influence of a few beers from my favorite watering hole – Old Chicago – I know something in my life needs to change. The problem, truly, is that there is not just one thing that needs to change. No, there are many, many things I do not like about myself nor my life.  I have been torn for many months – no, actually, many years on what to change to make myself feel better in a way that is healthy. And by health, I’m referring to both physical and mental health.

I have to say, before I go much further, that I took another one of those online screenings for depression and it comes up that I am severely depressed and that I should consider calling someone because I indicate there is a chance of crisis.  But I call bullshit…I’ll fucking figure it out.  Fuckers!


My brain is sporadic this evening, so please excuse my lack of coherent thought…

I need to change some things. I’m sick of shit.  Here are the things I’m sick of…

  1. Being a fat ass, fat piece of shit.  Seriously, I used to be fucking sexy as fuck and now I’m an old, fat, gross piece of crap.
  2. Being unsuccessful in my career.
  3. Being fucking broke
  4. Shitty fucking attitude
  5. Horrible spirituality
  6. REaLLY, I can’t fucking think of anything other than being eternally unsatisfied with my piece of shit life.

So, I could go on, but I can boil all of this down to a couple of things:

I’m a fat ass, and I hate being broke.

I just don’t know how to fucking change any of it.

But another beer really sounds fucking good right now…

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