I know, sometimes, it probably gets old listening to me or reading my posts about my depression, especially when I am in the midst of a depressive episode, but sometimes I just need to let it out.  I’m not a fan of pills…and if I’m being brutally honest, it’s because they impact your sex drive and I quite like my sex drive.  But on a serious note, I am simply uncomfortable taking pills, so I long ago convinced myself that there has to be a mental solution to dealing with a mental problem – Yeah, don’t try and follow my ‘logic’, but it’s what I chose to do and I hold no one responsible but myself.

I’m starting to ramble without even finishing the first paragraph, but my focus in impacted right now. I can’t seem to concentrate at the moment.  I’m trying to work on school work today (Yeah, I’m an old fart trying to finish a master’s degree) and I am already a week behind on some work.  But the focus I should have for school just isn’t there. I’ve got a lot of stressors right now and I’m trying to work through them:

  • I have a car in the shop, being fixed due to a car accident
  • I have another car being worked on because it keeps stalling
  • I’m trying to get into a routine of working out
  • I’m trying to make my marriage work
  • I’m trying to climb a corporate ladder for a company that knocked me off the rungs and is not cooperating with my ambitions
  • I’m trying to control my financial problem that happened as a result of getting knocked off that ladder
  • Wanting to maintain my unhealthy diet, inspite of wanting to change my unhealthy diet.
  • Trying to decide if I should take someone’s advice about God or not
  • Trying to get caught up with school, but also wanting to do other things
  • other stuff? I think. I can’t remember

My mind is completely scrambled right now and I forgot how to concentrate.

I think I’m going to go for a damn walk…

9 thoughts on “Distracted…

      1. I have been practicing “Keep it Simple” for a long time. I’d be crazy too if I had that many irons in the fire!! I know how easily I get overwhelmed. Saying “No” to 95% of what I ‘should’ be doing, allows me to keep the chaos to a minimum.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I know you’re not a fan of medication but… there are many many meds that have no negative impact on sex drive. I most certainly do NOT have that problem. Sometimes, I think it’s the opposite for me. I want it all the time. Or maybe that’s my natural state. In any case, if I’ve ever taken anything that had any side effect I wasn’t happy with, I told my doc/nurse and got that switched right away. The only side effect I currently have is weight loss. Yes. Weight loss. It’s my favorite side effect. Hell, that alone cheers me up. 🙂

    I’m not trying to push meds like they’re the answer. I don’t mean to come across that way. But they have helped me a lot. I cannot imagine how I’d be without them. Also, if depression and anxiety, etc., are caused by a chemical imbalance, and I believe they are, I don’t think any therapy or other mental exercises will correct that balance. I think a combination of meds and therapy is ideal. But I’ve never seen a therapist that helped me at all… so I’m soured on therapy…

    Liked by 1 person

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