I know, sometimes, it probably gets old listening to me or reading my posts about my depression, especially when I am in the midst of a depressive episode, but sometimes I just need to let it out. I’m not a fan of pills…and if I’m being brutally honest, it’s because they impact your sex drive and I quite like my sex drive. But on a serious note, I am simply uncomfortable taking pills, so I long ago convinced myself that there has to be a mental solution to dealing with a mental problem – Yeah, don’t try and follow my ‘logic’, but it’s what I chose to do and I hold no one responsible but myself.
I’m starting to ramble without even finishing the first paragraph, but my focus in impacted right now. I can’t seem to concentrate at the moment. I’m trying to work on school work today (Yeah, I’m an old fart trying to finish a master’s degree) and I am already a week behind on some work. But the focus I should have for school just isn’t there. I’ve got a lot of stressors right now and I’m trying to work through them:
- I have a car in the shop, being fixed due to a car accident
- I have another car being worked on because it keeps stalling
- I’m trying to get into a routine of working out
- I’m trying to make my marriage work
- I’m trying to climb a corporate ladder for a company that knocked me off the rungs and is not cooperating with my ambitions
- I’m trying to control my financial problem that happened as a result of getting knocked off that ladder
- Wanting to maintain my unhealthy diet, inspite of wanting to change my unhealthy diet.
- Trying to decide if I should take someone’s advice about God or not
- Trying to get caught up with school, but also wanting to do other things
- other stuff? I think. I can’t remember
My mind is completely scrambled right now and I forgot how to concentrate.
I think I’m going to go for a damn walk…