I haven’t been on in a while.
One would think I’ve been busy, but that’s not true. I don’t have anything to report, really, I just felt the need to stop by and check in with anyone out there in the realms of the cyber world.
I have been going through a lot in my mind lately, which is a dangerous thing for me to do at times. Usually, when I spend too much time with myself thinking, it has a detrimental effect on my mind but I’m still trying to figure it all out. Or maybe, there really isn’t anything to figure out, because I know many of the answers available to me – I think I avoid the responsibility of life.
Yes, the responsibility of life seems to be that thing we all must do. Some might call this ‘acceptance’. Well, there is a need for me to be hopeful and I’m still looking for it, in the meantime, I’ve been trying to do things differently and accepting the mistakes I’m making along the way. It’s weird for me to do this, because my nature is to chastise myself along the way with the flog of “should”. I should have done something different, then right?
Well, I’ve decided that sometimes I don’t have the answers for things, but I do for other things. I’ve come to think that maybe it’s time to just focus on the things I do have the answers and let the other things roll me over or pass me by as they happen. I’m only human, right?
Unfortunately, I’m still plagued by the problems of the world – those things no one really has the answer to fix. For example, some of you may have heard about the shooting last week at a Wal-Mart in Thornton, CO. It’s close to where I live, but luckily it’s a tad further than another one I frequent, so I have not been there in quite some time. But it still hits close to home. Not to try and top that, but the guy who did it happened to attend the same high school I attended many years ago. I didn’t know him, but some of my classmates did.
These things seem to happen so often – the most recent one isn’t even a full week old yet. I don’t understand the evil of the world. I don’t understand these things at all. And what I don’t understand either is the vehement because clearing among people after these things occur. It would seem like people would come together and try and come to a common solution, but, it never seems to happen.
But then, I ponder if we are just too focused on the things that only matter to our individual needs. Are we too focused on the self to be concerned about the hurt and pain of others?
What if the real secret to happiness is to focus on others more than ourselves?