I think I am out of touch with something. The problem, unfortunately, is that I don’t really know with what I am out of touch – society, politics, the hottest music, the best restaurants, movies, pop culture, fashion trends, or anything else that impacts the lives of people. I’m not sure what it is, but today, as I was perusing Twitter and reading the various news stories on politics and current affairs, it hit me all at once that I no longer relate to either of the two major political parties in the USA.
I don’t often discuss my political leanings, because I am a registered member of the party that that is not the token icon representation of the mainstream and I lost interest in defending my points of view long ago. But, I am also noticing that there is a metamorphosis of politics occurring and I find myself being turned off by so many things I see. And as disgusted as I am to admit it, I think it’s caused me some anxious feelings and mild depressiveness (Deep breathing…in….out…in…out…in…out).
All kidding aside, of course, I have come to realize that I am not in touch with a lot of the cultural trends occurring in our country (I’m referring to the USA, for those of my friends outside of this country). I am looking at myself lately and starting to realize that I have let go of some of my values, but some I have retained and the ones I have retained no longer seem to align with the political party that I chose to affiliate with at age 18 (The legal age we are allowed to vote and register to do so). But, I have some very major issues with some of the platform on the other side of the aisle. This has left me feeling detracted.
The reason I am bringing this up is for the simple fact that I feel isolated. I have stopped discussing my feelings and opinions about things, for fear that doing so will result in a heated battle of wills and wits with people. And, believe it or not, I usually walk away from those exchanges with an esteemed new title like, “Asshole”, issued by the other person. But, the reality is, that I no longer feel like people are open to opposing opinions and discourse. It’s very akin to something else I have experienced online: admitting my sexuality.
Yes, if you haven’t put it altogether just yet – I am a bisexual registered republican and I vote. If I open up as republican to most people that accept those in the LGBT community, I get labeled as a hate-mongering racist (which is FAR from the truth). It I admit to fellow republicans that I am bisexual, I get a new bible (just kidding…no one gives me one, they just assume I’ll burn in hell) or a disgusted look of repulsion as I get called a “cuckold” or liberal wolf in sheep’s clothing. Of course, my favorite label in this discussions is the “traitor” label, but not to be outdone by that is the description of “not being a man” (Granted, there are a multitude of labels and names used when you discuss politics).
You see, there is no appropriate label for people like me. And it reminds me of the time I used to see a therapist and she suggested that calling myself bisexual might be something that created stress for me; explaining that whatever sexual experiences I had can “just be” and not require a label or description. And as I remember that, I am starting to think that the idea of categorizing myself makes me feel incomplete, because there is no catch-all that describes any human being in a complete way.
Maybe I am out of touch with the mainstream because there really isn’t a mainstream.
Maybe, I am nothing more than an out of touch, bisexual republican.
At least I can know who I am better than anyone else.