I’m still alive…

I haven’t been on much the past couple of weeks.  I have to admit, I have been trying to live life a little. I know, not my normal behavior the past several years, but I am trying to make changes in my life.  But in the past couple of weeks, I’ve had some things going on, like a doctor’s appointment, time away visiting some hot springs, job applications and interviews, doing some writing, working out and weight loss, etc.

So, I had a doctor’s appointment. Nothing major or of major concern, just a follow-up on some things.  You see, I’m a type 1 diabetic, and as a result, I must pay somewhat closer attention to my health than the average person.  So, I have tried to stop feeling sorry for myself about my health and I decided to just face it all.  As a result, I am eating better and trying to make some small changes to my diet and overall nutrition. I have a ways to go, but I’m improving.  Also, I’m taking the medication I should have always been taking.  Other than insulin (an absolute requirement for type 1 diabetics), I have to take some pills that assist in protecting my kidneys. Diabetics’ kidneys tend to get worn out in a way that other people’s do not. It’s sort of a sucky reality, but I decided that my lack of attention to the matter was not going to do me any benefit in the long run.  Thankfully, I do not have any problems like that, yet, but I’m going to do my best to make sure that I don’t encounter complications.  And considering that I have had diabetes for just under 40 years, my attention to my health needs to be paramount.

Today, I have a phone interview for a job I’m hoping to get.  I’m excited about the interview, because I have been hitting some serious snags in my job applications.  I’m not happy about the current job I hold, but I am trying to keep it going until things change.  I have always had the belief that everything is temporary and I am hoping that my current job is only a transition to something better.  At the same time, however, I don’t want to count my chickens before they hatch. I simply want to do my best.  I have also been continuing my education towards my master’s degree in data analytics.  I’m about half way through the program and have been doing pretty well. It’s not been perfect, which is difficult for me to accept, but I am doing my best. What more could I ask for, right?  I’m simply keeping the target in mind and as long as I am progressing, then I shan’t be too upset with myself. This, of course, will open up other career/job possibilities and I know it’s one more thing to give me an edge and allow me the chance to control the outcomes of my life.

And the hot springs?  Well, my wife and I went to some here in Colorado. And as comforting and relaxing as some of the springs were, I have to admit that my wife and I were not prepared to the separation of men and women into their own “caverns” that allowed people to be completely nude.  I felt, oddly, out of place being the only guy in there wearing swim trunks. Needless to say, my wife felt completely uncomfortable, as well.  I won’t go into too much detail about the scarring that now exists on my eyes…

Oh!  And did I mention I dropped weight?  Yes, that’s right!  I lost an entire 5 pounds.  It’s like everything above in that it’s not what my hopes were, but it is progress. And I’m just glad that I am progressing towards what I see as a better version of myself!  I simply want to change, but I feel like I am accepting things as they are and doing the best I can with the results.  This weight loss isn’t anywhere close to what I need, but it is a step in the direction I want to go, so I’m taking it!

I’m not going to say everything is going smoothly in life, because they are not. However, I don’t want to focus on the negative right now. It is there, seemingly waiting to attack me, but I am staying focused on what I see as positive right now. I can’t handle everything and I know that, but I’m going to do my best to handle the things I can.

I feel good today…

11 thoughts on “I’m still alive…

  1. Hey that’s awesome about the diabetes, it’s literally the smallest changes that can make a huge differnce – what a cliche right? But once you’ve kind of made an agreement with yourself you can move forward.


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