I feel lonely.
Like 98% of the time, I feel like I’m missing some connection with someone. I shouldn’t feel this way. I have friends. I have family. I am online and have online friends. But I constantly feel alone. I feel like I’m not understood, and it’s not like I blame anyone, because I don’t understand myself.
Days like today, make me feel so detached. Although I yearn for some sort of intimacy – true emotional intimacy, I feel detached. I am feeling like there is something about this feeling that makes me think that I have never really overcome my depression and anxiety. It makes me feel like I can’t stand on my own two feet.
Someone I know commented the other day, “There is always such sadness in your eyes.” And I feel like I’ve been putting on a façade of happiness lately. I’m forcing myself to do things I used to enjoy, just so I’m not sitting and wallowing is self-pity. Although, I find temporary satisfaction, I am not able to sustain it. There is sadness within me and I don’t know what to do about it.
But today, the loneliness I feel is somewhat taking me over…
I can’t write any more right now…I feel like my brain is collapsing on itself and my thoughts are not clear.
I think in a way, we are all alone, and have to accept this as part of the human condition. It is wonderful to have friendships and close relationships with people, but that basic aloneness will still be there.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think it’s the “how to deal with it” that concerns me…
LikeLiked by 1 person
…but in that you are not alone either…
LikeLiked by 1 person
💜
LikeLiked by 1 person
I understand exactly how you feel and I feel the same way. Loneliness is awful… and I don’t know how to make it better either. By definition, I think it’s not something one can fix alone. But finding the right people to help isn’t easy. I have family and friends. (Although all of my friends are online.) But there’s some kind of connection that’s just missing.
♥
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think you and I have so much in common in this respect…
LikeLiked by 1 person
wow…major feels on this one baby. ditto…<3
LikeLiked by 1 person
💜🏳️🌈🌸
LikeLiked by 1 person