Feeling, strongly…

…bisexual?  I think I mentioned before (I’m being lazy this morning and not bothering to review my posts) that I follow an account on Twitter called @biupdatebot that posts each day some feeling relevant to bisexuals.  Today’s post was, “Bi update: Very strongly bisexual atm”. And it hit me that I never really feel strong about it.  I’ve often said that you will never see me wave a bi-pride flag – like ever.  Although, I did take the opportunity to attend a pride event in Europe when I was there a couple of years ago and this past summer I attended Pride in Denver, I just don’t have that feeling of pride or empowerment.

I’m not so sure if I want it.

I struggle with relationships, a lot. And I’ve even reflected on the possibility that I have never been able to feel vulnerable, intimate or secure in any relationship because of my sexuality. It’s so incredibly hard feeling like someone can love you, when you don’t love yourself.

Fuck…I had some stuff to say and my mind just went on the brink…

I hate anxiety, sometimes…maybe I’ll come back and finish and edit this later. And then again, maybe I won’t because I have been so frustrated lately.

I don’t really know what the hell I’m trying to say right now…

sigh…I’m hung up on stuff, as much as I wish I were not.

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