Loving to Death

So, a post I wrote was linked in this shared post of another blogger. I can’t help but think this blogger’s comments were a direct criticism of me (although, admittedly, I could be taking it out of context). But, I feel the need to respond to the statements made:

Giving that doesn’t take into account a woman’s desires, isn’t shared happiness.

Actually, the entire point of my post is that I DO care about a woman’s happiness, to the point that I neglect my own. Failing to make someone happy, is not a lack of care or a lack of desire to participate in that happiness. The insight, I feel was missed, is that I tend to sacrifice my own happiness for that of another person’s. At worst, I might be accused of playing the martyr, but it’s not done out of a lack of caring.

It’s an obligation on her part to say thank you for a kindness without thought.

One would think…

Each act showing a deliberate lack of understanding her soul.

Again, I believe there is a lack of insight on the point of my post, but failing to understand someone’s soul could be a deliberate act, but in my case it has always been my goal to understand another person’s soul. The claim made in the above statement connects the culpability to the result – as if it is a strict liability. I readily admit that I lack the ability to grasp emotions in many instances, but to claim it is deliberate on my part to do it is blatantly false. The mere fact that I have spent years and years trying to do the exact opposite of ignoring someone’s feelings is the proof that my lack of understanding is far from a deliberate act. My deliberate acts have been to seek her happiness and make the changes I felt would achieve that result.

Recognize retribution for your ignorance will cost you the relationship.

Ignorance is demonstrated by the lack of seeking out an understanding. That is not the case; I have sought, but without evidence or communication of successes, I am continuing to seek. But having been to years of therapy to try and understand how the failing in my relationship is entirely my fault is not new to me. I approached my therapeutic endeavors as someone looking to change himself, taking ownership over my own faults. Again, this statement above demonstrates the lack of insight into my situation.

And it’s not her fault.

She would agree with you,

But there you’ll go, blaming her and all woman-kind.

Hardly, but based on the other lack of insight you have, I wouldn’t expect a different conclusion on this post. I rarely misplace my emotions.

Grow up.

I appreciate the “positive” feedback.

I’m not totally sure why I felt the need to respond to this, other than I have a desire to quit feeling like crap, I want to quit feeling like I’m a horrible person on every aspect of my life, and I want to feel like my defense demonstrates that my happiness is important too. I’m ready to make some changes in my life.

I Write Her

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“It’s the only way I know how to love someone. If I bring a smile to someone’s face, I feel like I have shown them I love them. So, yes, I look to make her happy. Her happiness means the world to me.” And the therapist asked a question I could not answer then, “At what cost to you…?”

Acquiescent Soul Blog

Giving that doesn’t take into account a woman’s desires, isn’t shared happiness.

It’s an obligation on her part to say thank you for a kindness without thought.

Each act showing a deliberate lack of understanding her soul.

Recognize retribution for your ignorance will cost you the relationship.

And it’s not her fault.

But there you’ll go, blaming her and all woman-kind.

Grow up.

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12 thoughts on “Loving to Death

  1. I woke up to “Moderate a comment” and a reblog of my piece, it making me feel honored that someone thought it was worthy of sharing only to find you’ve taken it in an entirely different direction. Sorry your take away was one of criticism but your understanding was incorrect. The lines I quoted from your post gave me the inspiration to write about a situation I had experienced, not an expose or criticism of yours. I’m sorry you ever felt it was taking a stand against you, or your humanity. I adore your writing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I guess one of the things about writing is that once it’s out there in the world, people can interpret it in their own way through their own lens of experience. That’s not something you can control and not something that you’re responsible for.

    Liked by 1 person

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