Reflections on a month’s worth of sobriety.

Honestly? I never thought I’d ever be saying that I have been sober one month, ever again.  I say it with the thought in mind that I have had several perspectives on the matter.  A few years ago, when I was going through some really crummy crap and was drinking constantly, a day sober would have felt like crap.  The last time I decided to go out and drink again, I had “decided” that I was not an alcoholic and therefore wouldn’t need to worry about being sober for a month – I had the problem licked.  Or so I thought.

Anyways, if I am being utterly honest, which the program of Alcoholics Anonymous – a.k.a. AA – requires, then I must say that I don’t feel anything magical. It simply feels like something I must do.  I know over the past month, my emotions have fluctuated wildly, that my cravings have ebbed and flowed, that my mind has made backflips over the matter and so on and so forth. But, at the same time, I’m not upset.

I’m encouraged.

Even today, my dad called and asked when we were getting together for a beer again. I told him, “I stopped drinking dad, but we can get together for something else..” and he said it sounded like a great idea. My dad is not one to really push anyone to do something they don’t want to do – except his own kids, but that’s only if the purpose of pushing is to better themselves (needless to say, the idea of setting and meeting high expectations of myself has led to some serious disappointments in my life to match the serious successes too).

Oddly, I don’t have much to say, because I am in early sobriety, but I felt a need to update everyone who reads my blog.  Maybe tomorrow, I might have something a little more thought provoking…

Day 29 (I claimed one month, because of February)…