June represents a month of recognition for those in the LGBT community and it is referred to as Pride Month, and various countries around the world recognize it in memory of the Stonewall Riots of 1969. So, in my own way, I thought I’d offer my thoughts on the subject of LGBT pride from my personal perspective. But, before I do that, realize I’m not one to really engage in the agenda, movement or Pride celebrations.
With the idea of pride in me head, I decided to search the posts I have where I have mentioned or discussed pride. I’ve often discussed (mostly in my last blog), that I will never be the kind of person to stand on rooftops with my bullhorn and yelling about bisexual pride, nor will I be marching in parades wearing nothing but leather chaps and waving the Bi-Pride flag. In fact, as I mentioned in one post, I really, really, really struggle with being out and open. On some level, I feel like any vices I may or may not have should not be a matter of contempt to anyone else. In a sense, I suppose I see it is as my issue and I cautiously decide with whom I want to share it.
I also noticed in a lot of my posts, however, that I am self-deprecating in a lot of ways too. I don’t want to be a forceful individual when it comes to my sexuality, but I also do not want to be hateful towards myself. I have found myself denigrating who I am in a lot of ways. I have referred to myself with disparaging remarks that tear down my character. In this sense, I do want to have a sense of pride, almost in a way that builds me up in much the way I indicated in other posts here and there. I guess what I’m saying is that pride has its place, but it shouldn’t be overbearing.
For example, this morning, I read an interesting post with respect to the representation of LGBT in a certain genre of movie making. The author was making a point I have always felt is important. The idea that my sexuality should not be the thing that defines my overall being. Even as much as I write about it here, I have always wanted to have the comfort level that it is just a part of who I am and not the totality of who I am. The author in this post, expresses my attitude towards what I think (and truthfully, a major reason that I never accepted my own sexuality) about sexuality in general – it should just be what it is and not the singling out of anyone based upon said sexuality.
I have a friend here on WordPress that once told me that his bisexuality is on a need to know basis. And although, I discuss mine quite a bit online, I am highly reluctant to share it openly with anyone in my real life – although, I have been tempted from time to time to share it. There is a part of me that wants to bust open the flood gates of my sexuality, for the self-repression I have put myself through, but there is another part of me that yields to the reality that I want that acceptance to be a subject of fact and not as that “bisexual guy”. I have so many other qualities to my personality and my attraction to both men and women are not the highlights – isn’t raw sexuality the essence of shallowness (Possible subject post someday, maybe)? I really liked what I read this morning, because I think it really fleshes out the issue of bias and the true representation (or exploitation, if you will) of individual sexuality.
These are just my thoughts mind you, and I respect others’ opinions, of course.
And for those who celebrate this month, Happy Pride to you.