So, as many of you know, I just began a new job a little over a month ago. The unfortunate result is that I have less time to spend on here blogging. I’m still unsure, if I made the right decision and I am still struggling with the challenges of taking on this new position. However, there is some potential with this job and I am looking forward to the opportunity to work into it. I had mentioned in previous posts (or comments…I’m not really sure, and I’m too lazy to go hunt them down. It could very well be my imagination too) that I am still struggling with some mental health issues and depression being one of them.
With that mention of depression, I said I was going to consider getting medication when I get my medical insurance. Well, that insurance went into effect on August 1st and I scheduled an appointment with a doctor today. It’s a new doctor and I have been debating asking to be screened for depression or anxiety – maybe even both – but I have some doubts. I go back and forth in my mind whether or not I am capable of overcoming all of this on my own. But a month ago, I had feelings and emotions that had scared me, and I made the decision it was time to truly address some things.
But I’m nervous.
I hate labels – i.e. “alcoholic”, any negative connotation of my sexuality, etc. – so, I’m worried that somehow having a mental illness will prevent me from any sort of future possibilities of doing something good with my life. Even as old as I am, I feel like I haven’t truly made my path in life…
I feel so much actually, that I am about to go off topic and spend a great deal of time trying to answer every challenge in my life right here and now. And that feels overwhelming.
So, I am going to go to the doctor and I’m going to discuss my mental health, as well as my physical health. And I might even admit my sexuality on the intake form when asked, but I will certainly ask for my mental health to be evaluated.