Goal Setting in Sobriety

So, I’ve crossed the 30 day mark in my sobriety. In fact, today is the 31st day, since I last drank – early morning (~2:00 a.m.) on labor day. Honestly, I’m feeling a lot better, physically, but mentally I’m still working through a lot of things. Although my mind is becoming clear and the fog of alcohol has lifted from my thinking, I’m still plagued by some of my thinking.  One of those aspects of my thinking is in goal setting.

You see, I’m a very driven person and have found ways to achieve goals in the past. My biggest problem, I think, is biting off more than I can chew.  I had mentioned to my sponsor about a week ago that I really want to start making it to the gym and I really want to begin tackling my financial issues. Of course his recommendation is that I only focus on my sobriety for the time being.

But I’m getting antsy.

I feel like there are things to do and thing that need to get done. And I feel like I don’t have much time left to get all of these things done. For example, I am facing a major financial crisis right now. Although I have a good salary of ~$90k per year, my debts are above $500k (mostly my mortgage and student loans) and it feels like I can’t make enough money to tackle them. I’ve even began driving for Lyft/Uber again to try and widdle down some obligations.  This means, I’m working 60-70 hours per week. Also, I saw a photo of myself last night from 20+ years ago, when I was in phenomenal fitness – I worked out a couple of times per day and was eating the healthiest possible diet. Granted, I know I’ll not have that level of fitness again, but I would certainly like to drop the 80-90 pounds I’m overweight.

And the problem I’m having is that I feel like I’m energetic enough to try tackling these things, but my experience is that I will overwhelm myself and the frustration will, inevitably, put me in a situation where I want to ease the stress. In recent years, drinking has presented itself as the solution to my problems. You see, I’m not a problem drinker, I’m a solution drinker. And, maybe that’s exactly what my sponsor is referring to when I express my desire to accomplish some goals. Maybe my main focus should be on my sobriety. Maybe I simply try to make it to 90 days without a beer, since I have not accomplished that in over 10 years.

But maybe, I just focus on today, since that’s all I can really control right now.

Sober 31 days.

36 thoughts on “Goal Setting in Sobriety

  1. I know that feeling, tackling too much all at once. Ends up burning me out. Sounds like you’ve got a good handle on your line of thinking, and the sponsor gave good advice. Please take care of yourself and do what makes sense. ((Hugs))

    Liked by 2 people

  2. One of the things that makes tackling problems is trying to do them all by yourself and maybe it’s just me, but if you’re the only one working the problems, ya need to find out why you’re not getting any help at all. I know some guys are… reluctant to ask for help when they find themselves up to their eyeballs in alligators when trying to drain the swamp and all that does is make things worse.

    If my wife were to ask me why I haven’t gotten things under control, the first thing I’d ask her is, “What are you doing to help me with this other than flapping your gums and getting on my damned nerves?”

    Have you contacted the student loan people and asked for a deferment? Is it possible to refinance your mortgage to get a lower rate and monthly cost? And if you’re busting your ass to the tune of 60-70+ hours a week, that sure as hell ain’t making things better for you in any area you care to mention and especially holding off that urge to drink. And if your wife ain’t trying to help, well, you’re fucked… and not in a good way… and ya might wanna find out why she isn’t and maybe remind her that if you fail or falter, everyone is going down the drain right along with you.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Keep doing what you are doing. I Love this post. I’m sober nearly 7 years and I still get antsy. like, for example, the blog I just started. LOL. Life is SO much easier sober. It’s possible to live a sober life if you are willing and wanting. Remain teachable. Go to meetings. When I slow down meetings, my depression kicks in full force. All the best to you !!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I am glad you are hopeful ! Remember , for us alcoholics ,
        Picking up a drink is adding a problem to our problems. That’s all.
        When I drink, all goes to the shitter. And then eventually Jails, institutions or death.

        I don’t want any of those so I don’t drink today .
        Just get to midnight . Peace ✌🏻

        Liked by 3 people

  4. Congratulations on taking the decision to give up drinking. Take it slow though, focus on getting through each day. Clearing the mind helps, by doing this you’re building your strength to fight financial battles at a later date. In the meantime focusing on sobriety will give you a wonderful foundation from which to work . The early days though are tough and you need to be vigilant, it’s easy to give up and return to old ways. Keep positive, keep posting and take it a day at a time.

    I gave up 12 years ago tomorrow, and can say it was the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m happier and live a more fulfilled life than ever before.

    Good luck on your journey, James

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I remember that feeling.
    It’s hard to digest that some things we can’t fix right away from the mess we created while thinking we were fixing the solution with a drink.
    I am almost 8 years sober (March) and not to discourage you, but it took me 5 years of sobriety before to clean up my debt. Be. Patient.
    Your sobriety has to come first. I promise, in time, things work out. Even the debt.
    One day at a time 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Admittedly, I struggle with making my sobriety a priority – I “schedule” meetings around my life, rather than schedule my life around meetings, for example.
      But I hear you – it’s patience that I lack, I’m sure. Thank you for the encouragement.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hang in there. I would love to even finish 10 days sobber. It all will count in the end. I am starting day1 today and I pray that this is my last attempt. I don’t want to be locked up in this cycle any more.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you so so much. Your words are truley strengthening. Can you tell me how you deal with the depression that rocks up after a long day at work. I try to go to the gym straight out of work, but when i get home, I’m depressed because I cannot have that 1 drink

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Rest assured, if you’re making it to the gym, you are doing FAR better than I am. Sometimes, I think it’s important to focus on little successes – especially, if you are a person driven to achieve. Oddly enough, there is an inherent trick in some of our brains that we feel like we’re failures, because we forget there are small successes in life.

        And this very topic has determined my next blog post…

        Like

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