WARNING: I’m going to be discussing something of an adult nature. I am whipping this out as it comes to mind and I have thoughts that are raw and uncensored – I may or may not use vulgarity. Oh, and it may have tons of grammatical and spelling errors too (Oh, the horror!?!?!). This post is intended for mature audiences (i.e. ages 21+). Also, names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
In my last post, I introduced Katherine (or Kat). Kat is a significant part of my Sexual and Relationship Development (SARD), because outside of getting married to my wife, she was the person I had the most important romantic/sexual relationship. I alluded to several sexual things she and I engaged during our relationship, but it wasn’t a purely sexual relationship. There was genuine love and affection between us, as well. In fact, I really believe, outside of the physical attraction we had for one another, there was a romantic and loving interest in one another too.
When she first agreed to go out on a date with me, I had met her parents at her house when I picked her up. I also met her two brothers and her sister. The family seemed a little quirky to me, but then again, I just assumed there are always differences in how people live and didn’t think too much of it. Her mom, however, seemed to give me more of a scrutiny than her father did. Later on, Kat had indicated to me that she couldn’t stand her mother and that she made her feel bad about herself when she had a previous boyfriend.
The first date wasn’t anything extravagant – I was a poor college student. We did a small dinner and went to a movie. Of course, after the movie, we ended up making out and really expressed our affection for one another. I think, eventually, once we got to the point where we thought we loved one another and felt like it was time to express the “I love you” to one another, we began having sex. Kat was only the third girl, with whom I had sex with at this point (See #1 here and #2 here, if interested).
But once we did have sex, were we ever off to the races. It’s like we couldn’t get it enough. Occasionally, we would flirt with the idea that we needed to maintain some modesty with one another, since our individual religions didn’t allow sex outside of marriage (I was raised catholic, and she was a non-denominational christian), but we always failed at abstaining. But that first summer together, we spent as much time together as we could. As great as the sex was, it really wasn’t all about the sex.
We would take drives into Clear Creek canyon and have picnics together. We would do romantic walks in the evening. We would laugh, share stories, and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. We began growing closer and closer as the weeks of our first summer began coming to an end. And, then our relationship changed a little and neither of us really understood the impact it would have. It changed, because we began to support each other with the hurts our lives began to have.
Her parents were going to divorce.
As school started back up, I went back to college and Kat would continue in high school. My college wasn’t too far away, but I was on campus when she called me to tell me what occured. Her mother was being asked by her dad to move out. Apparently, her mom got pissed off at her little brother and chased him to school with her in a car and him running in front. Obviously, terrifying for a 3rd or 4th grader (I can’t really remember how old he was at the time). Kat asked me to come get her, because she didn’t know or understand what was happening.
This is when I began missing classes to try and comfort her and make her happy – little did I know at the time, that I would make a habit of behavior like this. But I ran to her aid and kept her company for the day and evening, until her mom and dad had worked out a plan where her mom would be leaving the house and her parents would eventually divorce.
A year later, my parents would divorce and I would lean on Kat…