Feeling Girly.

For anyone that has been connected to me on this blog or my previous blog, know I have moments of feeling completely girly. In fact, on one of my previous blogs, I introduced everyone to Stephanie – almost in full force. I have indicated who Stephanie is on several posts, but sometimes I feel like I hide her too. Truthfully, I love Stephanie and I love her much more than Hilda. Lately, I have been feeling a strong need to express my more feminine side again.

I value the inherent nature of femininity that Stephanie provides me when I identify as her. I find her to be a subtle calming voice inside my head. I have often found comfort in the things people have said to me that indicate they notice a feminine nature to my persona. I recently got my routine pedicure and I almost asked the technician to paint my toenails this time. That’s how girly I felt at the time. And I have had a desire to dress up in female attire again. There is a bit of an inner voice that yearns to have Stephanie come out and play once in a while. I used to toy with it, and I really began to toy with in in my former blog.

At the same time, however, I never want to lose the masculine side of my persona either. I certainly would not entertain any sort of transition, because that has a major permanency to it that I do not want. I have also indicated, before, that when it comes down to it I am biologically male and I don’t want to permanently remove my maleness. Truthfully, I also understand how some people would perceive this and how they would have a difficult time with that aspect of my being. It gives me pause, certainly, in expressing myself.

I understand there are plenty of you that would encourage me to be who I am and to feel completely comfortable with myself – however I identify, but I think I have come to terms with the fact that I am biologically male. I have strong masculine characteristics – both internal and external – but there is always this feminine aspect to me that I enjoy letting out once in a while. I have expressed Stephanie in various ways – pretending to be a woman, walking with a feminine gait, wearing skirts or dresses, putting panties on instead of boxers, trying to put make-up on (oh gawd, I looked cheap and icky) and various other things to simply make myself feel girly, pretty or whatever I happened to feel at the time.

And yet, today, I am feeling it again. I don’t know why, but I know as long as I’m not hurting anyone – myself, included – then it doesn’t really matter. I find comfort in it on some level. And when I’m done, I know I can still be the man into whose body I was born.

I feel okay with myself.

I feel not at odds with the world.

I feel a harmonious “You go girl!” reverberating within me today.

And tomorrow, I might feel differently. Tomorrow, I could easily fall back into my traditional masculine ways. I can kick off my heels, so to speak, and put on some work boots and do the things I have to do.

But right now, today, I feel girly and feminine.

And I like it.

24 thoughts on “Feeling Girly.

  1. All humans have both a feminine and masculine side to them. Varying degrees may come with individuals. As we age, men become more tend to become more feminine and women tend to have more masculinity about them. Probably the hormones that begin to go in each. Women go through menopause and men begin to lose that mascul8ine hormone “Testerone.” Due to the fact that you identify with “bi-sexual”, you probably are decreasing in testosterone which would cause you to feel more like “Stephanie.”

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  2. You do you however that expresses internally or externally! A suggestion, if you are inclined to take it, are there any places in your area where you could go to in drag? That might be a fun place to just be yourself too?

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  3. I know a few very macho guys who say they often feel very girly on the inside and even I’ve had some moments where I’ve felt ultra girly having sex with a guy; I also know some guys who’ll feel this way and it unnerves them something fierce and I’ve told them that instead of being disturbed by these feelings, just embrace them. It doesn’t mean you need to undergo gender reassignment surgery – and these guys I know, including myself, would never pass the psych tests that are mandatory – and it doesn’t mean that you have to let your inner girl show on the outside if it’s not in your best interests to do so.

    I’m thinking about one guy in particular and trying to imagine him all dolled up… and it ain’t working and even he admits that he’d be a butt ugly woman. A couple of guys admitted they gave showing their inner girl a try but it clashed with their sense of being male to take things that far.

    Another guy comes to mind and the time I visited him while he was folding laundry; he was folding some Victoria Secret panties and I joked, “Your lady has some pretty panties!” and he smiled and said, “They’re not hers – they’re mine.” He explained that wearing them just makes him feel good about himself.

    Yeah, I tried to imagine myself wearing those lovely panties… and my brain shut down.

    End of the day, how you feel is just how you feel – can’t do a whole lot about that; what you do about how you’re feeling is something else and I’m sure there’s probably a way you can dress to your heart’s content without getting your head handed to you – Google it!

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  4. You don’t need to figure it all out. Go with the flow. Giving in to your feminine side does not mean you are replacing your male side. They are both within you, it’s just that on some days you like to accentuate one. The one that makes you feel good at the time and you don’t need the approval of anyone.
    Look at a warrior. A warrior is known to be strong right, a fighter. Even warriors lay their weapons down sometimes and wie a moment to rebuild their strengths. That doesn’t mean that they are no longer a warrior. You are who you are princess, only you have to accept it. The rest will follow. Xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That means a lot to me my dear dear friend. I hope you can embrace that aspect of yourself because there is nothing wrong with it and it’s a beautiful thing when we can follow our call and be uniquely ourselves. Bless you and much love ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

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