It’s been a few days since I wrote a post for “Beautiful Me” journal, but I had a vacation planned the past 5 days that didn’t go as planned. And I took a major step back in doing anything relevant to working on my well-being. But, since I made a pledge to myself, I’m going to let go of it all and simply take-up where I left off. With that being said, there could be times when I take a step back, and I’ll try and double up on a few days here and there as I go. But, the book I’m reading to work on my own inner beauty has a daily guide and that’s what these series of posts are about. So, here is Day 3.
Day 3 – Consider How You Feel About Yourself.
In this section, the author is asking to have you look at yourself and consider how you feel about yourself. Specifically, she says, “…it is important to know and understand where you have been…” And combines it with understanding the path you’re on and where you’d like to go. Even before I get to the daily activity, this whole concept brings me back to something I did with a therapist a few years ago. The therapist had my write a list of things I used to say about myself. I would be lying, if I said it didn’t provide a little anxiety remembering the horrible things I used to say – and, honestly, things I’ve felt in recent days. But this is a process with the purpose of getting to a better place, so that is where I want to go – a better place. So, the author asks some questions and wants the reader to respond in her Journal:
How do you feel about yourself?
This is a really difficult question to answer, because I know as soon as I say how I feel about myself, there is an element of “wrongness” in the assessment. I mean, who in their right mind hates themselves, right? But that’s where I’m at a good majority of the time. I am my own evil bitch and I effing hate that about myself.
Why is that the case?
I live in the past, a lot, unfortunately. And I tend to compare myself to a person I used to like. The person I used to like was confident, healthy, ambitious, happy and dare I say “good looking.” And I don’t feel any of that anymore. I feel like some empty shell of a person I once was. I also have a tendency to compare myself to other people. Sometimes I compare myself to other men, and honestly, sometimes I compare myself to other women. It’s a weird dichotomy I don’t always understand, but I know the text-book right answer is that comparing yourself to others isn’t healthy. But then again, how I feel about myself isn’t healthy either.
What will a healthy sense of self and a healthy life give you?
In a word? Satisfaction. I feel like I would be content and happy with my life. I would feel good about myself, I would feel confident, I would feel healthy. I would feel worthy and valuable. I would feel successful. I would feel great.