BMJ: Day 9 – Consider What Your Words Are Really Saying

Continuing down the path of creating a more beautiful me, I love the way Day 9 begins in the book Beautiful You: “Our words aren’t just empty. They are a road map to how we are feeling about ourselves.”  And, I don’t think anything more true can be said about them. To me, I think words evoke visualization and visualization provokes change. The author suggests writing in our journals the answers to certain questions that are reflective on the things we say to ourselves – such as “I’m fat.”  She poses the idea to women that there is a purpose behind the words we use and the motivation behind those words need to be addressed.

This reminds me of an exercise a therapist had me do a few years ago. She asked me to spend a week making a list of some of the things I say to myself – especially the negative things. So, I’m going to go through that exercise again – I am going to expose myself to all of you who are reading this. Although, some of these things may have changed, since I wrote them for my therapist, others are still very much relevant and useful tools for Hilda to use against me.

Things I say to myself (not good):

  1. You’re fat
  2. You’re ugly
  3. You’re a loser.
  4. Why can’t you manage money?
  5. Look at you quit all the things you love.
  6. You’re never going to find real love.
  7. You deserve to be treated like shit.
  8. Bisexual is practically gay. Fag.
  9. Why should my kids respect me?
  10. You’re pathetic.
  11. Lazy fat ass.
  12. You’re getting too old to do anything.
  13. Give up. It ain’t worth it.
  14. Why are you even alive?
  15. Fucking pussy.
  16. Dumbass
  17. You’re not supposed to be married; you have no clue what you’re doing.
  18. Why would anyone hire your ugly ass?
  19. I’m too fucking hairy.
  20. Ugh…I’m bald and ugly.
  21. You’re never going to be in shape, don’t even try.
  22. No wonder you drink!
  23. I hate myself.
  24. Why would anyone want you?
  25. You have an ugly smile.
  26. You’re never going to get out of debt.
  27. You’re old, there’s no way you’ll ever be successful now.
  28. Women don’t like you, guys don’t like you, so you might as well just accept the shitty marriage you’re in.
  29. You have nothing left. There’s nothing you can do to make it.
  30. I fucking hate being a diabetic.

I’ve only listed 30 things I say to myself.  There are more, and having reviewed just this list, it is obvious to me I MUST change my mindset.  Tomorrow’s entry to my Beautiful Me Journal will offer some counter to this.  My hope for the time being is to recognize that I have the power and ability to change this all.

10 thoughts on “BMJ: Day 9 – Consider What Your Words Are Really Saying

  1. Wow… that’s some pretty harsh shit to be saying to yourself about yourself! I can’t wait to see how you respond to these things but the main thing I hope you can get figured out is why you have this going on in your head – what’s at the root of all of this?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m wondering… were you raised by a narcissist? Those words are indeed harsh, sounds like you were on the receiving end of a lot of criticism growing up that maybe now you are internalizing.

    Liked by 1 person

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