BMJ: Day 11 – Realize That You Are Not Your Body

It’s been a few days since I made an entry into my Beautiful Me Journal (BMJ), but I have a good excuse: I’ve been involved in life – working, planning my finances, applying for jobs, etc.  And although absolutely nothing is perfect, I don’t have a bitchy poor me attitude about it all. It’s a fact that I’m struggling, but I’m facing it too.

On this day in the book titles “A Beautiful You“, the author goes through an explanation of helping us “women” (The book is written with the intention of women being the audience, for simplicity of not explaining how I see myself, I’ve embraced this as being a part of the audience), realize that we tend to define our existence on our bodies and many of us tend to take on the perceptions and opinions of other people about our bodies. She goes on to express that the only opinion that matters is our own opinion.

Furthermore, she wants us to understand that there is more to us than the exterior – it’s everything within us that matters. It certainly seems obvious, but when contemplating this issue, I can’t help but realize that this fact is lost during many times in my life. The author quotes one of her students making an analogy that our bodies are merely vehicles for our lives. Simply put, it only contains who we really are.

So, keeping in mind the last few entries in my BMJ, I am going to keep working towards a positive self-image. And, like I mentioned in my previous blog that I long ago deleted, I’m going to work on embracing my feminine side as much as I need to embrace my masculine side. I want to be at a place where I love myself.

One thought on “BMJ: Day 11 – Realize That You Are Not Your Body

  1. Well, yeah – at the end of any day, the only opinion that matters is your own but the messed up part is when your opinion of yourself is considered to be bad, like body image. Women are inherently concerned about this but men aren’t immune to this either. Your mind is one thing, your body “something else” but the reality is both things are you but lends itself to that old saying that beauty is only skin deep… but ugly is deep down to the bone. Some of the best people I know ain’t even close to being the “Ken and Barbie” type on the outside and self-image is something we are either obsessively concerned about or not so much – depends on the person, I think.

    We come to understand some things about our bodies: We can either strive to improve the way it looks and works or we just say “fuck it” and let it all ride. We can be overly concerned over what everyone else sees… or we can say, “Fuck them…” and do our best to maintain the body that we have and sometimes with the understand that there are some things about our bodies that we just can’t do a damned thing about – or if there is something that can be done, it’s not deemed to be worth the risk or expense.

    The real “enemy” here isn’t our bodies – it’s the mind that’s driving the bus; it’s not so much what others think about what they see – it’s what we think they’re thinking when they see us and, let’s say, if we think that they think we’re fat and badly out of shape, that will impact our image of ourselves; “Honey, does this dress make my ass look fat?” Well, yeah, baby… it does but, eh, I don’t mind… but if you’re asking the question, it tells me that you do mind and if your “fat ass” bothers you, um, what are you gonna do about it?

    Men have different self-image problems; are we going bald? Got that spare tire around the middle? And, yeah, we live with the issue of our cocks – is it too small? Way too big for someone to want a piece of? And, even worse, does the wife or girlfriend have a differing opinion of our junk? We will inflict punishments on our bodies in order to satisfy our sense of self – and to appease others and the people who crack me up are the ones who’ll go out of their way to improve their bodies but insist that they’re not doing it for others… and I don’t think that’s really the truth but it’s one that justifies whatever they’re doing to their bodies… and because they think that someone else isn’t going to like what they see.

    Here’s my “concern:” I get you wanting to be more in touch with your feminine side and maybe reading a self-help book written by a woman for women might help you achieve this… but women can have self-image issues that’s not entirely of their doing – someone, usually a man, has made them doubt or have damaged their sense of self and if some heartless dude didn’t jack them up, society has. Yes: Any physical issues you have may or may not be “fixable” but if you’re head is in the wrong place, even those physical “fixes” may add to what others are looking at that can re-damage one’s self image.

    “You are not your body” is something I’m having a problem with… because that should be kinda obvious but it’s what everyone else sees; they don’t know what’s going on inside your head but I know, if I don’t know anything else, that if you spend more time worrying about what other people see when they look at you, no amount of self-help is gonna… help until you can learn to “ignore” what they may be saying – and not worrying about what you think they might be saying or thinking.

    There is a reason why they say you should never judge a book by its cover and, honestly, most people don’t give a flying fuck what you look like as long as your head is in the right place; the physical things are things that can be worked on or otherwise dealt with… but an unhealthy mind isn’t so easily dealt with and I say to you or anyone else who has image issues that if you don’t get your mind right about yourself, nothing you can do to your body is going to make much of a difference. Because it’s very true: At the end of any day, the only opinion that matters is your own and you have a duty and obligation to yourself to have the best opinion of yourself as you can manage…

    Even if no one else agree with it or what they see when they look at you. You have learned, and as so many people have, that once you fall into this self-made hole – or have been shoved into it by others – it is horrifically difficult to climb out of it – but you have to believe that you can; you have to know that you can. It feels like life is conspiring against you at every turn when, in fact, the real enemy lives inside the body the book you’re reading suggests isn’t really you.

    Liked by 1 person

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