My take: #BiVisibilityDay #BiPrideDay

Apparently, yesterday was BiPrideDay and BiVisibilityDay.

Honestly, I’m not sure how to celebrate it or even if I should celebrate it. I have this whole pride thing that bothers me, as some of you are aware. Although, I have begun to accept myself more and more, I also find the idea of being proud and boastful to be an annoyance – mostly kind of an in-your-face sort of thing. And it’s no secret that I feel that way.  I find flamboyance of any kind to be gross and icky – even if it is kinda funny and entertaining too.

I was having a conflict with myself yesterday about whether or not I need to say something about being visible about my sexuality. And I think I understand why some people feel the need to do it or participate in it, but some of the things I saw floating around social media just seemed way over the top and I find that some messages get lost because they are so incredibly loud, so to speak. I think that the idea of being visible is one of self-validation – which is something I could relate to.

Sometimes, I feel the need for that. Sometimes I find that my experiences in sex and sexuality has made me feel incredibly self-conscious and incredibly self-critical. I have found awesome support in social media and online forums. And I think I am finally coming to a point where I can feel okay being bisexual. This is a good thing, I’m sure. But there is something else that I feel the need to mention.

What if it were not that important?

Sometimes I think – and some of you have pointed out – that I worry about it for nothing. Appealing to the idea that people who don’t like me the way I am, I can ignore, but there is also this need of mine that I want to be respected as a unique human being. Of course, many have encouraged me to respect myself, accept myself and love myself for being bisexual. Granted, it hasn’t always been easy, but I have come to accept it about myself more now than I did years ago. But maybe the fact that I’ve struggled with it is because I’ve made it more important than it has to be. I’ve mentioned before, that I’d love to be at a point where it is just a thing about me and not something entrenched in my thinking on a routine basis. And, honestly, I can’t help but wonder if people really care about this issue or if it is annoying constantly hearing about it.

On the other hand, having struggled with it for so long, I don’t doubt my own insecurities on the matter. Mentioning it and/or discussing it with someone allows me some freedom in accepting myself. But, from that standpoint, it becomes something personal – it’s not the in your face approach to force people to like or accept me. And, honestly, that’s what sexuality should be, right? It should be personal, something for me to share as I see fit. Something I feel comfortable sharing, if I want to.

Just my thoughts…

5 thoughts on “My take: #BiVisibilityDay #BiPrideDay

  1. Your thinking about this is absolutely 100% sound, sane and right on. And being Bi is in many ways difficult for gay/queer or heterosexual’s to understand and even accept. Most think you just havent accepted being gay or queer, which is bunk. I had to work through this one myself some years ago, before I was comfortable being in the middle (Bi) so to speak. But you are so right on that you don’t need to toot your horn about it. Frankly, I think those who do are actually the ones most insecure about their sexual identity. And botton line is, our sex life isn’t supposed to be our entire personal identity…we are so much more than that! So you’re thinking in the absolutely right direction! 👍💜

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Is it that big of a deal? Not really; most people don’t care as long as you’re not trying to get next to them. But there are a lot of people who feel being visible is a very big deal for them and I’m not really sure why outside of external acceptance being used as a form of validation to confirm that they’re right about the way they feel.

    It’s my contention that they’re looking for validation in the wrong place: That always begins with the individual; you accept and validate yourself even if no one else will.

    Whatever works for ya, I guess. Me? I said something about it because it’s also my birthday so I could kill a couple of birds with one stone – quite convenient. But even if it didn’t happen to be on my birthday, you know I celebrate my bisexuality every day because it’s always good to be alive and all that.

    Do you have to climb up the mountain and shout it out? No… but you could if ya wanted to. And, yeah, you know that I think you spend way too much time worrying about it when you have more important things to be worried about.

    Liked by 1 person

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