The last few days have had my emotions sort of up and down. I’ve got some challenges in life I’m still facing (honestly, they won’t be going away any time soon), but in spite of the ups and downs of my emotions, I’m generally feeling positive. I’m not sure what the change is going on in my mind – maybe it’s that I’m actually addressing some of my issues with writing and practicing some inspiration in my life. I’ve noticed that I am strongly encouraged by so many people I interact with online and I am engaging in my life.
This feels good.
I feel good.
And I want to love. I want to show affection. I want to share my positive good feelings. And I’m not sure how to do it. I feel like I’m teetering on a bit of an emotional edge – kinda like hiking up a high altitude trail and encountering a cliff that one wrong step can send you spiraling down, but there is a bit of a thrill involved in looking at the view. below.
That’s the mood I’m feeling: The mood of exhilaration at the positive vibes flowing through me. But it scares me too, because it is an addicting feeling, a compulsion almost. And it is the kind of behavior that can feel like mania, I suppose. I’ve felt this before and it has an element of care-free risk taking that I feel can only result in something miserable and self-destructive, without it meaning too.
But I feel such a strong need to share myself right now. Share myself in affection. Share myself in love. Share all of my emotions. Share all of my feelings. Share my mind. Share my heart. Share my soul. Share my body. Share me.
I just don’t feel like anyone would reciprocate. Ever.