I am really struggling today.
Hilda is here. She is running amok.
I can’t seem to settle the negative energy in my mind, but I’m sick of all of this. I feel chained to everything and nothing seems to work in trying to break out of the situation I’m in. I have no desire to try therapy – all they want is your fucking money anyways, so fuck them. I can’t stand the idea of sitting in an AA meeting and listening to people blame alcoholism for their shitty behavior in stead of owning the fact that they fucked their own lives. Fuck, I know I fucked my own life. That’s not the fucking point.
I can;t even think clearly enough to write this fucking post to fucking get out of my fucked up mind.
And I hate that I’m saying fuck so much…
I’m on Day 3 of my sobriety too and I know this is fucking part of it, but I’m fucking miserable. I can’t accept this situation I’m in. I want to fucking change it, but I can’t fucking do it. Both my jobs suck. My marriage sucks. My life fucking sucks. Fuck all of this.
Fucking pissed off.