Giving up

I can’t do it.

I can’t get over my emotions. I can’t get past how I feel about the utter shit-show my life has become. I can;t tell if I’m an alcoholic. I can’t tell if I should be married, let alone if I’m bisexual or not. I can’t tell if I am ever going to be able to accomplish anything in life. I can’t tell if God exists. I can’t tell if I can ever feel good about myself.

I can’t give up drinking. I don;t get drunk, but I can’t go a day without having a beer.

I can’t tell what’s happening in the world.

I just can;t do life anymore.

I’m fucking done.

16 thoughts on “Giving up

  1. Sometimes you need to be done with today, but it will pass. You put too many expectations on yourself. You don’t have to know. Most of us don’t know what the hell we’re doing. If you can take a step back and just breathe deep, walk in the woods, and meditate on what YOU need, I think you might find some kind of peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Praying for you. Please know that God is real but so is Satan. Once the enemy has a hold on you he will chip away at your faith until you let go of it. Praying for strength for you to fight the temptations and emerge victorious, one day at a time… sometimes one minute at a time…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m not going to like this one, you are a good person who at the moment is feeling so lost and trying to tackle to much all at once and naturally are overwhelmed. Just stop, stop and breath, stop and tell yourself your okay right here, right now. You might feel like there is no way out but there is break it into really tiny mini steps and make todays goal just to breath. Sending you a massive hug. xox

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can’t is a good place to be, if in doing so, one is able to find the strength to move onwards – such as a higher power, or simply the awareness that no man is an island of ‘I alone, can’. I’m still your brother, knowing I’ve been there, what it’s like. I hope you find your way through.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Princess, know I am hugging you, and I am wrapping you up in comfort, holding the space for you to be safe and process whatever it is you must experience.
    Times are tough once more but if one thing you have proven over and over, it is that you are not a quitter. You might not see it at the moments when life is stormy but you are needed. You do have many gifts and instead of focusing on all the dont’s and I cant’s, dig dip and find your silver lining. Are things truly at their worst? If not and you can see that they could be worse, find positivity right there and stand up once more. It’s not a matter of many times you fall but how many times you get up.
    Sending much love your way and much strengths. I believe in you.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I am in recovery for alcoholism. been sober since 2012. I totally get how you felt a few days ago. And isn’t it wonderful that those feelings PASS!!?!? I always try and remember that. If i’m in a bad day, I know that I can re-start my day or trust that the feelings will eventually pass. When I get through the bad days with out picking up, I feel so happy the next day!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I used to equate the depression and/or anxiety bouts I had with crashing waves. I knew they would knock me over, but I also knew they would eventually recede. But lately, the waves seem way more powerful…

        Like

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