Smile List: 04-26-2020

So, I realize I am posting this today, but I actually received a DM (direct message) from a friend on Twitter, yesterday, so that’s why I used yesterday’s date for today’s posting.

But, I’m one again feeling a little more comfortable and a little more confident in being myself. I often have described myself in weird ways, but I have a friend that allows me to be me and she said the following to me:

“…bring Stephanie in and accept the girlie side because it’s a part of you!!!”

It’s not the first time she’s referred to my feminine side in a positive manner, but her consistency (as well as others’) have made me feel more comfortable embracing that part of myself. I have absolutely no desire to change my gender – i.e. sex-change, for numerous reasons that I won’t go into, because as much as a controversy it can be to people, I have my belief and I’m secure in that belief. However, having friends that embrace me as I learn to embrace myself is truly a comforting feeling.

14 thoughts on “Smile List: 04-26-2020

  1. Be who you are no matter what other people think. Our society has become a very judgemental society. It so sad. You are you whether people like you or not. We are all made in the best version of God. In my opinion. He created all of us. He also created us to be who we are. Regardless of our gender or what others think, he loves us unconditionally. That means he loves you whether you are feminine or masculine. Here’s what I know. I’m not sure if you are a transgender or not. I guess I didn’t pick up on it until I read this particular blog today. Again I’m not sure but I’m going to make this comment for all those who are trans. I agree. You need to tap in to your feminine side. It makes you unique and wonderful. One of my best friends is a gay man. I always tell him that what I love about him the most is he thinks with both sides of his brain. On one side he taps in to his masculine side and on the other his feminine side. He’s honest and always tells me the truth. Often he’s more honest than most of my gal pals. If I look like shit he will say “girl….you look like shit!” If a boyfriend is cheating on me and I’m denying it to myself while complaining to him, there’s no holding him back. His masculine brain is turned on and he will be honest with me and tell me how it is. You are so lucky to have that. A feminine side and a masculine side. Embrace it and be the “you” god created you to be and enjoy every minute of it. There’s a song by Billy Joel called “Just The Way You Are!” A song I’ve dedicated to all those I love. I love them just the way they are. I don’t know you personally, but if I did, I’d certainly dedicate the song to you and mean it. ❤️

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    1. You are bringing a tear to my eye. I have seen a lot of people online have assumed I was a woman, and they are usually shocked to find out I am not. I’m always in awe at how many people can accept me much better than I can accept myself. I really don’t believe I am trans…but I have spent a lot of my life wishing I had been born a girl. Physically, there is absolutely nothing feminine abut me…I look like a neanderthal…lol. (Okay, except sometimes I squeal like a girl would…but that’s another story altogether). But internally, I have struggled with that aspect of myself. I am getting there and I hope to see myself more positively in the future, for sure.
      Thank you, so much for your warm, comforting and relatable comment. It brings me a lot of joy in my heart.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome. I stand by what I wrote. To me I don’t care if you’re male or female. I don’t care if you’re a male who sees himself as a female. Stop judging yourself and just be who you are. You may be a Neanderthal but who cares?!! Geez Gabriella Reese is a professional volley ball player. She’s a female who is over 6 feet tall!!! Yikes!!! My daughter is 5’10. She wears a size 12 woman’s shoe. Her hands are bigger than most men. She’s a big girl but here’s what I know. She’s beautiful and perfect in every way. So are you. Don’t suffer in silence because of what others think. Be who you are. You’re actually blessed. Like I said, you think like a man and a woman. How lucky is that?!! Anyone would be blessed to call you a friend. Embrace the days you are a male and embrace the days you are female. Always remember, you were created by God which makes you unique in every way. There will never be another you. With that said if God created you and we all know god loves us all unconditionally, maybe it’s time for you to love yourself too!!!

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      2. First, your daughter sounds like an amazing person. You must be an extremely proud mama!

        Second, I’m working on it. I hear what you’re saying, but feeling what you say is difficult sometimes. I am learning though, and I am hopeful that I will get there. I have been praying to God daily, trying to attend as many AA meetings online as I Can and speaking to my sponsor daily. But I am feeling rather vulnerable and that is such a difficult place for me. But I’m trusting it all right now…

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I too am a recovering alcoholic. I feel your pain. I faced some challenges these past 8 years. After nearly 17 years of sobriety I relapsed a year ago. I have battled anxiety, depression and PTSD. Last October I made the decision to take my life back. I went to a treatment facility fir 38 days. I met with counselors 24/7. I walked out of there in a better place. Of course I do take antidepressants. In any event I have been working hard to take control of my life. I’m 6 months sober and loving life again. I’m discovering a new me. I’ve become really good friends with me, myself and I. I read a lot. I surround myself with positive people. I meditate. I’ve read the Four Agreements twice this month. I highly recommend the book. You can and you will get through this. You can and will embrace the beautiful person god created you to be. I promise you that. Remember your speed in getting there doesn’t matter. Forward is forward. Keep moving forward toward being the perfect you and never forget. The minute you embrace your three best friends “me, myself and I” nothing else will matter because me, myself and I will always love you just the way you are. Stay strong and keep on keeping on. May the lord bring you clarity and peace today and me he show his love to you in a miraculous way.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Actually, I started following you because I saw something you posted about getting sober. You’ve been a bit of an inspiration to me when I read your posts. I love and need the positive messages behind what you write. I’ve been struggling with sobriety with relapse after relapse since I first walked into an AA room December 4, 2015. I’m coming to terms with the fact that knowledge of self is not enough and I’m willing to surrender to a HP…I struggle with that conception though. Being raised catholic, and being educated (I can understand theology well, if needed) never seemed to make sense to how I felt. I’m also seeing a therapist for depression and anxiety. So, I find myself relating to you in some ways.
        Thank you, so much for your encouragement.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Thank you fir this. I too am catholic. As Catholics it’s really hard to come to terms with just being ourselves. Guilt and shame as well as judging are driving forces of Catholicism. One of the things I find is easier at times is to see god or my higher power as the universe. It makes things so simple. Sobriety is so hard but it’s possible. I’m not sure where you live but if you want to zoom, FaceTime or just talk on the phone I’d be happy to talk to you. Let me know

        Liked by 1 person

      6. I live in Washington state. Call me anytime. My number is 509-750-7451. I think it would be nice to talk. It’s good to share our stories. It allows us to help one another. Through sharing we find healing.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Thank you but honestly I don’t mind who sees my number. If someone needs help My phone is always open. Geez I’ve been through so much. If I can help others all my challenges are worth it. But thank you ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

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