I’m not sure where it came from.
I’m not sure what inspired it.
I’m not even sure they are my thoughts.
But I had some revelations – and probably some that have been obvious to others for quite some time.
But I woke up this morning thinking these things to myself (I’m pretty sure it’s Stephanie speaking to me):
- You need to stop drinking. You can’t have even one beer or glass of wine – not as a reward, not as stress relief, nothing, zilch, not one. Stop trying to convince yourself it’s okay. For you, it isn’t.
- You’re too hard on yourself. You need to do you best – nothing more and nothing less.
- You have chores to do around your house and no one is going to do them for you. So begin doing them, one at a time, no matter how long it takes.
- You have to do things you enjoy. Go hike. Go workout. Go see a movie. Make love. Dance, if you want to dance. Read books. You need to be physical. Do things like walking, housework, etc.
- You should accept the first job you’re offered. What you want, isn’t always what you need, but work gives you a sense of purpose. Eventually, things have a way of working out and you will find yourself in a better place.
- You need new clothes, wearing sloppy rags isn’t helping you. It shouldn’t break your bank account to get a nice outfit from time to time – even if you feel the need to check a thrift shop. You need to be presentable to people.
- You have to eat right. Yes, stop eating crappy food, but you know it’s more than just that. You need to eat with purpose in mind.
- You need to love yourself. Yes, your sexuality is a part of who you are, but no one needs to accept you. You need to accept you – people will follow the respect you have for yourself.
- Get right with God. Pray to Him (or Her). You don’t need to know everything, but you do need to show your appreciation and gratitude. You do need to realize there are things around you that you can’t control, but your God (or Goddess) loves you and you need to accept that love.
- You can’t control other people, situations, events, places, anything outside of your soul and being. You have the power of decision over yourself. Period.
- Keep showing compassion to others – especially, if you think they don’t deserve it. You’re not perfect and if you can love yourself, then you can love others.
- Be who you are. Be honest about you. You are beautiful, compassionate, loving, caring. You can always build upon who you are, but do not change your basic being for anyone else.
I’m going back to a meeting today. I’m working on this and I’m not giving up.