I don’t hate God…

Last week, I had a serious breakdown and a serious explosion - a rant, if you will - about God. I am scared. It's true. But my fear is being misplaced and I'm looking, desperately, for someone or something to be responsible. Maybe it's because of the lack of control I have over the situation, …

What’s Going On?

It's been a while since I've been regular on my blog. I wish I had some sort of big project, major life changes or whatever, but I do not. The reality is that I am stuck in the never breakable cycle of my own making. I try, repeat the struggles, impose my own negativity (a …

Thinking about S.A.R.D.

Some days I have these moments where I feel completely okay with my sexuality. Scratch that. Some days, I feel like my sexuality is not as important as I try and make it. There are days where I am not focused on it as something that NEEDS attention. It's almost like I have accepted it …

Current Mood: Hopeful & Amorous

This morning I woke up with a sense of hope.  I have really been down...the last depressive episode hit me in a way that I truly felt I wasn't going to escape. I'm not going to discuss every thought I had, because I know that I should have sought professional help during the episode. Yes, …

A Relationship with God

Today, I woke up contemplating my relationship with God. As many of you know, I do not deny an existence of an Omnipotent Higher Power. Truthfully, while attending AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings and facing my entrapment by alcohol, I prayed an awful lot. And, as always, I noticed that my relapses tend to accompany a …