I know I’ve said it before…

...but early sobriety just sucks. I've been on again and off again for the past several months. I struggle with so many of my thoughts that I find the only escape to be drinking a few beers on a daily basis. I don't even know how to wrestle with the idea that I know abstaining …

I’m pretty sure I lie to myself

Yeah, I think I do. I think I lie to myself. I think I tell myself things and have no idea if I am building myself up with truths or lies and I have no idea if I am tearing myself down with truths or lies. I've got a few beers in me right now …

I’m off today.

I don't know what it is about my emotions that cause me to swing back and forth from positive (Stephanie) to negative (Hilda) in a matter of a few days, hours, minutes or seconds. But, since yesterday, I've just been on this blah trek in my psyche. I'm not really sure what it is that's …

I don’t know how…

I don't know how to put my faith in God or a Higher Power. I'm starting to despise phrases such as these: "Give it up to God!" "Did you talk to your Higher Power?" "Have you prayed about it? "Go to the Church and light a candle." "Have faith" "Trust God" "God has a plan" …

I Give Up.

I'm done.