Self-Destructive Frustration

I am self-destructive when frustrated. I get frustrated when I am trying for an outcome that doesn't occur. The outcome doesn't occur, although, I'm trying to effect that outcome through control. I want to control what I can't seem to accept. I can't accept what I don't want as my reality. When my reality is …

Providing updates…

Honestly, I hate providing updates, but it feels like that's the only way I have any interaction on my blog anymore. I remember about 9 years ago, when I first began blogging about myself, I was on almost daily - sometimes three or four posts per day. Obviously, I squashed a couple of blogs before …

A Dark Mindset

"You are in such a dark mindset" were the words my friend on Twitter said to me. She's right. I am in a dark mindset. It's sort of been my thing the past five years. I kind of feel like I no longer know how to be positive. How can I possibly find happiness as …

I know I’ve said it before…

...but early sobriety just sucks. I've been on again and off again for the past several months. I struggle with so many of my thoughts that I find the only escape to be drinking a few beers on a daily basis. I don't even know how to wrestle with the idea that I know abstaining …

I’m pretty sure I lie to myself

Yeah, I think I do. I think I lie to myself. I think I tell myself things and have no idea if I am building myself up with truths or lies and I have no idea if I am tearing myself down with truths or lies. I've got a few beers in me right now …