“The Icing on the Shit Cake of My Life…”

The second I said those words (the title of this post), I knew I regretted it. The full sentence I said was, "Our marriage is the icing on the shit cake of my life." It was mean, hateful, cruel and not the truth. The reality is that I was hurting from so much at the …

Pain…

I'm working on my 4th Step from the Alcoholics Anonymous program. It's painful. For those who do not know, it's an accounting process of every resentment you feel and addressing those resentments. That's the short version of it. What you're not told is the pain, anger, gnashing of teeth you go through as you begin …

I’m working on sobriety again…

My last drink was Christmas Eve. Not soon after, I was literally being kicked in the small of my back. I'm not comfortable discussing it and I really haven't decided how to address it, so I'm going to do what I do best and avoid that topic for the time being. But, today I am …

I feel like nothing works.

I’d probs lay go to rehab, but I have no insurance and no money. I can’t stay sober. I keep going to meetings, but I can’t seem to make any of it work. my life completely sucks a big cock and unfortunately, it’s not me doing the sucking... TMI? Yeah, probably is... I have no …

Dangerous Time

The title might seem appropriate to the times we're living in due to the Covid-19 pandemic, but it's actually about the fact that I am at a month sober. In fact, tomorrow marks 30 days since I last drank. And it's dangerous for me because I have been here before. I was mentioning to someone …