What’s different this time?

I'm now at 30 days of sobriety. I wish I can say, somehow, that this time is different than the previous times I've hit the 30 day mark. It's not. Same unresolved resentments. Same emotional extremes. Same temptations. Same thoughts. Same financial problems (though, I do have a better job then previous times). Same inability … Continue reading What’s different this time?

Self-Destructive Frustration

I am self-destructive when frustrated. I get frustrated when I am trying for an outcome that doesn't occur. The outcome doesn't occur, although, I'm trying to effect that outcome through control. I want to control what I can't seem to accept. I can't accept what I don't want as my reality. When my reality is … Continue reading Self-Destructive Frustration


Searing pain, The mind's darkness. Companionship in absentia. Traveling among oblivion, Penetrating the murky conflict, Of consciousness. A path becomes clear, Parting the dying forest. A voice in the wind, guiding Towards a doomed destiny. A precipice of eternal destruction, encountered, downward, calling out. No reply, not even the echoes of discouragement, Erasure, the only … Continue reading Soliloquy