Day 21: The Struggle is Real

I don't know what causes me the most frustration - relationships, work, having no ability to plan how I want to live my life, money issues, lack of sex, the damned medical bill I'm being sued over...or whatever other fucking thing happens to be on my nerves or what?!?!  Okay, I'm sorry I cussed...my parents taught …

Brickwall

It seems as if I've stepped away from blogging again, since I haven't been around much and my last few posts have indicated some negativity (as if?!). Well, I've had a few changes the past month or so (I don't even know the relativity of time in my life at the moment) and haven't really …

Regrets

Anyone that has attended Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings are going to become aware of the phrase "...restless, irritable, and discontented...". It is the warning to alcoholics that these feelings are the predecessor to the phenomena of craving.  Often times, these feelings are tied into the concept of resentments and alcoholics deal with resentments by making …

Everything Inside is Screaming…

I'm having a hard time sorting through my feelings at the moment...I have some anger inside that is screaming to get out and it all stems from an interaction I had with my wife just a few moments ago. Truly, I do not do emotions very well at all...I'm utterly inept. Originally, I had intended …

Doubting Oneself…?

This morning, I woke up in a really negative and self-deprecating mood. I briefly thought, "Ugh...I think I'm going to need a therapist again and hear about all of the things I should do that I am already aware..." It made me realize that I'm weaving my way through a potential depressive episode. I tried …