I don’t hate God…

Last week, I had a serious breakdown and a serious explosion - a rant, if you will - about God. I am scared. It's true. But my fear is being misplaced and I'm looking, desperately, for someone or something to be responsible. Maybe it's because of the lack of control I have over the situation, …

Obsessive Thoughts Running in the Background

For the past several days, I've had some thoughts obsessing my mind when it's not focused. Honestly, it's something that I go through on a regular basis when I make attempts at sobriety. And I used to handle and accept my actions in the past as blips on my historical timeline. But, as I have …

Alcoholic much?

I hate the fact that I question this about myself. I despise that, once again, I'm sitting here contemplating if I am actually an alcoholic.  Honestly, I don't know if I am or if I simply enjoy the taste of beer.  I'm sitting her this morning, starting another attempt at being sober. It feels weird …

A Point of No Return?

It's not uncommon for me to question my sexuality. I make the claim that I am bisexual, but today I'm questioning it.  It's a label and I've had therapists suggest that I eliminate the label and not worry about characterizing myself. There is this idea that sexuality is a fluid concept and that characterizing it …

Questioning Values

Lately, I'm spending a lot of time questioning my values.  I discussed, in a previous post, that I felt like I was experiencing a bit of an existential crisis. The unfortunate thing about that post, is that my mind was so riddled with frustration, I felt it lacked any semblance of articulation in trying to approach …