I admit it. Sometimes I'm embarrassed and ashamed that I have to admit I'm week and fickle when it comes to drinking (That's a fucking understatement shrouded in delusion - I'm a fucking alcoholic). At times, it feels like a huge character flaw to admit this is something I have to struggle with overcoming. It … Continue reading Just Do What I Got To Do.
"Get to a meeting!" Is the number one piece of advice I get when I whine about drinking. I remember a year ago when I was struggling then and came to realization that the only thing that seems to keep me from drinking is getting involved in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). And yet, every single time … Continue reading Get to a meeting, get to a meeting, get to a meeting…
I spoke with my AA sponsor today on the phone. We were reviewing some of the negative feelings I have about myself. He wanted me to reflect on what sorts of things I say to myself right before I drank - namely the things I thought right before I relapsed this last time (And I … Continue reading Showing Some Gratefulness.
Trigger Warning: I'm going to say some things that some might find to be sacrilegious, irreverent, and completely hell-bound verbiage about God. A couple of days ago, with respect to my relapse, I've gone and got rid of God again. Discharged. Vanquished. Thrown away. Etc., etc. In fact, as one of my earlier posts suggested, … Continue reading My strained relationship with God.